STOP right there! Read this before filling out this form (if you don't read it, oh we will know, bro).
If you have a question about our RETURN POLICY, please read our SHIPPING & RETURN POLICY located under the Contact Us Tab you just clicked to get here. If you use this form to ask about RETURNS, you won't get an answer. That's why we publish our return policy under this tab, Homeslice.
Also, if you are rude, insulting or disrespectful in any way, we won't answer you. Sorry, bro. We are busy saving the world from rude and nasty people one "whey" or another and don't have time for self-centered nonsense. And we don't deserve it, so we don't put up with it for one second!
Ok, if you've made it this far and need help:
Please complete the below fields to contact us. Thank you for visiting... SLAP!
If you're inquiring about your PRE-ORDER of the NEW SLAP! whey protein, hang tight, homeslice. We are waiting on testing (imagine that...a company that actually tests their products!) and we should have them here to ship to you next week. We'll keep you in the loop if anything changes, but in the mean time you can still get the pre-order discounted price here.
Please DO NOT ask us if we have free packets, or to send you free samples; they may be free to you, but they aren't to us, and you don't want us to be homeless do you? Nah, didn't think so.
If you want to email us, it's firstname.lastname@example.org. We do our best to get back to everyone who contacts us, but sometimes we get a ton of emails (so just hang tight), but if you ask us for free stuff, don't expect an answer (unless you want to hear a "No", lol). We will not respond to Contact Us form submissions or emails asking us for free stuff. Sorry Homeslice.
If you don't know how to type and/or just want to talk to us because of all the coolness, here's our number (don't sell it on Ebay, thanks).
If we don't answer, it means we are a) really busy or 2) probably trapped under something heavy; so leave a detailed message on our weirdly cool automated voicemail and we'll think about about calling you back as long as you are nice :)